Right now the housing market is in a slight slump. I find it interesting that we use the terms “appreciating” and “depreciating” regarding the value of a home. Of course, we always like to see our home go up in value and kind of panic when it goes down in value.
Well, just like a house, we need to be aware of how we “appreciate” and “depreciate” others. I plan to share about “appreciating others” in a subsequent blog, but today, I start with the negative – depreciation. When we depreciate others we sap their energy and lessen their desire to work with us on a team.
A while back, Dan Rockwell shared 4 ways we “de-value” others. Here they are with some of my own comments.
- Fixing: When we constantly correct, we minimize the efforts of others. We de-motivate others when we go behind them and try to fix things according to our standards. What we communicate is that “You should be more like me.”
- Judging: Nothing depreciates a relationship more than constant condemnation. No one likes to feel that they are on trial. Even without noticing it, we communicate that “I am better than you are.”
- Assuming: Mind-reading gets us into real trouble. We assume the worst and, most often, the wrong things. We need to be curious and ask questions rather than jumping to conclusions. What we communicate is that “I understand, without exploration, more than you.”
- Agendas: Even if we are in charge doesn’t mean we are the boss. The best way to appreciate someone is to seek their advice and direction. When we have our own agendas we communicate that “I don’t care what you think. Just do what I want.”
So how do you spot these “depreciating” behaviors? John R. Stoker says that when we have negative emotions it may well be an indication that we are engaged in judging, fixing, assuming, or pushing our own agenda. We’re devaluing.
Frustrated or impatient? It can be a sure sign you have you’ve stopped valuing others and started depreciating them!
BEFORE YOU GO…
Valuing others restores relationships. Respect revitalizes. What are some things that you have found that “depreciates” others? What can we do to make sure we are “appreciating” others more?